5 Red Flags to Watch Out for On a First Date | Going out with someone for the first time can bring mixed emotions. While
the thought of finally meeting somebody you can start a relationship with
can be exciting, it can also be worrisome—especially if you’ve only met them
through social media or through a traditional dating site. Unlike
professional
dating service Malaysia
singles use have relationship experts screen dates for them, you’re
practically on your own when using conventional dating sites. Because you
don’t receive support from dating consultants, there’s always a possibility
you’ll be matched with dodgy individuals.
Source: idiva
Nonetheless, whether you’re going out with someone you met through a
professional dating service, a dating site, or a friend, it’s advisable to
go beyond the usual first date preparation. Aside from selecting a suitable
outfit and thinking about stimulating date topics, you may also want to
learn a few
red flags to watch out for on a first date. After all, your initial interaction is a remarkable opportunity to gauge
if someone is a good fit to be a significant other. With these warning
signs, you can set apart potential romantic partners from those you may not
want to see again.
1) They Arrive Late without Informing You
While being tardy per se isn’t necessarily a first-date deal-breaker, not
texting, calling, or finding other means to inform and apologise to you that
they’re running behind is a clear warning sign. Imagine how your date will
behave in succeeding encounters if they can turn up late unapologetically on
your first date—your initial face-to-face interaction wherein you’re
expected to put your best foot forward. Besides, being late without making
any effort to make up for it signals a lack of respect and consideration.
The person is, in essence, telling you that their time is more valuable than
yours and they don’t care about your feelings.
2) They Are Rude to Servers And Other People
You probably heard the saying: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the
waiter is not a nice person.” Maybe you can use this as a guide to assess
whether your date is genuinely kind or not. Observe how they treat servers
and other people. If they keep criticising the service in the restaurant or
making mean comments to other guests but appear overly affectionate and
thoughtful toward you—that’s a huge red flag. Perhaps this rude behaviour is
a preview of how they’ll treat their future partner. Remember, a genuinely
kind person treats everyone, even strangers, with respect and kindness.
3) Their Wants Trump Yours
Try to be mindful of how your date reacts when you express your preference
for something that’s opposite to what they like. Do they respect your wishes
or try to force what they want on you instead? Let’s say your date tries to
hold your hand, but you tell them no because it’s too soon. Consider it a
red flag if they keep insisting or start making you feel bad for not
yielding. Mutual respect, which includes respect for each other’s emotional
and physical boundaries, is an essential foundation of a healthy
relationship. If your date doesn’t seem to understand this, you’re most
likely better off not seeing them again.
4) They Appear Uninterested And Bored
If your date keeps checking their phone, texting, making calls, or looking
around to observe other people throughout your date instead of giving you
their undivided attention—these are certainly red flags you must be aware
of. The same goes if they hardly show any interest or enthusiasm for
anything you have to say. When you notice such warning signals, you may want
to say goodbye to your date for good and move on. Ultimately, you deserve to
be with someone who’s fully present, attentive, and excited to listen to
your stories.
5) They Keep Talking About Themselves
One of the primary goals of a first date is to get to know the other person.
That’s why you should ask questions, listen to the answers, and share
information about yourself as well. Ideally, you try to keep a conversation
going to establish rapport and see if there’s a possibility of building a
deeper connection. That said, consider it a red flag if your date talks the
whole time and is hardly interested in asking you questions.
Nonetheless, before you dismiss the person for being self-centered, try to
give them the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they’re talking too much because
of first-date jitters or because of a strong desire to impress you. To know
for sure, consider redirecting the conversation to see whether they take the
hint and start focusing on you. Perhaps you can say something like: “You
know, I’d love for you to get to know me too, so is there anything you want
to ask me?” If your date continues with their monologue, it’s probably time
to end the date.
The items discussed above are just some of the red flags you need to watch
out for when going out with someone for the first time. If you notice any or
all of these signs, it’s probably best to make your first date with this
particular person also your last. After all, the last thing you want is to
spend your precious time and energy dating someone who isn’t a suitable fit.
Don’t settle for second best. You deserve someone who’ll treat you with the
utmost kindness, respect, sincerity, and love—always remember that.
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